whispersinthenightsky

a learning curve

“Hi. My name is Hashimoto’s, and I’m an invisible chronic illness.
I am now velcroed to you for life. Others around you can’t see me or hear me,
But YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please.
I can cause severe pain or, if I’m in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.
Remember when you and energy ran around together and had fun?
I took energy from you, and gave you exhaustion. Try to have fun now! I also took good sleep from you and, in its place, gave you brain fog. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal. I can also give you swollen hands and feet, swollen face and eyelids, swollen everything! Oh, yeah, I can make you feel very anxious or very depressed, too.
I can make your hair fall out, become dry and brittle, cause acne, cause dry skin, the sky is the limit with me!
I can make you gain weight and no matter what you eat or how much you exercise, I can keep that weight on you. I can also make you loose weight. I don’t discriminate.
Some of my other autoimmune disease friends often join me, giving you even more to deal with.
If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take
that away from you. You didn’t ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:
That virus or viruses you had that you never really recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma (I thrive on stress.) Maybe you have a family history of me. Whatever the cause, I’m here to stay.
I hear you’re going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. That makes me laugh. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively. You will be put on the wrong thyroid meds for you, pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants.
You may be given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away. You’ll be told to think positively, you’ll be poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken seriously when you try to tell the doctor how debilitating I am and how sick you really feel.
Your family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and just how debilitating I can be. Some of them will say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day” or “Well, remember, you can’t do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago”, not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago. Some will start talking behind your back, they’ll call you a hypochondriac, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a “normal” person, and can’t remember what you were going to say next!
In closing, (I was hoping to keep this part a secret), but I guess you already
found out…the only place you will get the kind of support and understanding in dealing with me, is with other people that have me, they are really the only ones who can understand. My name is Hashimoto’s”

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Old letters to lost loved ones

Sorting through old paper work i came across this, its a good few years old but I have realised that although I planned on shedding the pain, it still lingers in the back ground, coming out every now and again to smack me upside the head when I least expect it. One day I know, [โ€ฆ]

https://whispersinthenightsky.wordpress.com/2015/09/16/old-letters-to-lost-loved-ones/

decorating

changing your internal surroundings can be as good as having a holiday. I find it changes the whole dynamics of a room giving a renewed sense of…..well…whatever you want it to really. My project at the moment is my bedroom. It was painted a dark jade colour, which I rather liked, it gave a cosy feel to the room, but as I am not sleeping very well i decided a change was needed. I have gone for the popular grey and white, one wall papered in grey, the rest painted. I have just been woken by the neighbours again ( they are not noisey really, the walls are just thin) so I am debating buyong sone insulating wallpaper to put up first. I used this in lityle legs room on the outside walls as her room is rather cold, andcit did make a bit oc a difference

Milo’s review

Milo was given the opportunity to test out and review Bakers dog food, he was sent two large bags of beef and veg dried food and a box of wet. Milo is a dog that prefers wet food so he wasn’t overly impressed with the dried until I added the wet and gave it a good mix. He cleaned his bowl!

He has continued to clear his plate whenever he has had the Baker’s wet food added to the dry.

I did notice he was drinking more water, but the food seems to be suiting him so I will definately keep him on it.

#bakers

The other side

How hard is it when a relationship breaks down, and you hold your phone knowing they are only on the other side of it…..things were easier before technology

heartache

What is this physical pain that comes with a broken heart? You feel it, right there and it twists and turns until the tears flow from your eyes, earth shattering, searing pain, surely a heart can’t survive such an onslaught, this has to be its death, the torture as it rides wave after wave of consuming hot streaks of pain, each one harder ti bear than the last and you pray for the end, yet when its over, there it is, this little jewel, still beating, battered and bruised, torn to shreds, but still…..beating๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”

Sleep…..or lack of it

I have come an Insomniac, not a title I want to own, but it is my title at the moment. Sleep is the Elusive goal I strive for and here I am, another night watching the clock tick, eyes heavy with the need to sleep but it is always just out of reach. Thoughts run though my mind like firecrackers, sparking here and there but uncatchable. I have tried all the natural remedies but not worked well. So, I will just lay here and try to count my blessings and hope work is quiet tomorrow or I may well dissolve in a pool of tears. Any suggestions for sleep will bye greatly appreciated.

Weight loss and good food

I joined slimming world in January as I want to just shift a pound or two…ok, ok, a stone at least, I started at 12st and I am 5’4 so need realistically, to be around 10’8 ish. I have lost in total 6lbs, but I have to admit, I don’t stick to plan 100% though I do try. 

Who finds it costs so much more though, to eat and cook from fresh, not to mention the time it takes, I have to focus and keep telling me that the benefits outweigh the effort it takes to stand and prep whilst all I want is my bed.

It has been suggested I try batch cooking and meal planning, then it is just one long stretch of prepping…..then I realised I would need another freezer to store these magnificent meals in…..
And the weight loss means new clothes or do I walk round like Sally bag wash just incase I fail and need these size 14’s 

Commencing job search for a higher pay packet or more hours ….

been a while

since I posted anything, my iPad broke and with it my momentum for anything. it’s surprising how we come to rely on these things without realising. I still had my phone but trying to do anything Barr making calls and sending texts onan iPhone 5c is beyond my limit of patience!

so, in my two months or so absence have I stored up a plethorium of anecdotes and interesting things to post? NOPE, not a one, been too busy trying to keep body, mind and soul together due to sleep deprivation. any hints or tips would be great fully appreciated! especially on how to rid the estate of teens who thing it’s ok to be as noisy As they like no matter what time of night it is!

turning nocturnal

i truly think I am! I have not had a full nights sleep since December and it is really starting to tell on me. 

Nocturnal is fine, if you can get your sleep during the daytime, but I don’t, 

Something has to give and I think it will be my sanity. 

Natalie Breuer

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