Been a while
I stopped writing as I felt I had nothing much of interest to say, perhaps that is still the truth. Little legs is now nearly 14 and plodding her way through high school, she’s doing ok and is immersed in finding her own style, likes and dislikes. She has a very keen interest in music, ranging from Eminem, Punk Floyd, Marylin Manson and more modern artists like Billie Ellish, Dorian Electra and the Doncaster lad Yungblud. These artists have given her confidence to be different in her dress sense, her outlook on life and to have deep empathy for others, she’s a caring soul who looks out for anyone who needs it.
Sh
New pet
We have a new addition to the household, he/she has been with us 9 months now and has become a firm favourite with me. Little legs asked for this for Xmas last year and I reluctantly agreed, I quickly became besotted and am proud to introduce our Little Yoda, this is him/her after his third molt, he/she was only the size of my little thumb nail and nearly transparent as a spidering.
This is yoda last week after yet another molt, growing well!
Panic attacks
Just spent the last hour or so trying to come down from a panic attack, this is the second one I have had during the night. Not sure if it starts as I’m trying to fall asleep or if it wakes me up. Either way it’s very unpleasant, made worse at the moment because I am 7 days into a positive covid diagnosis and have been a tad poorly with it.
When these attacks happen I jump up out of bed and start cleaning, it helps to bring me round, so the kitchen has just had a bit of a scrub, me and the dog have had a couple of walks around the garden and I am now back in bed, extremely tired but afraid to lay down to sleep
moving up -the next chapter
Little legs has now started high school, 11 years gone in a blink, she is doing really well at getting herself up and ready, so well infact, that I am shocked as it is only 10 weeks or so ago I was having to drag her out of bed to get to primary school on time! She is still struggling with the work, and I am trying to make her understand how important it is to get her homework done on the day it is given as she will end up with a whole stack to get done in one day, she is trying to get herself organised but has missed handing in two sets already, so a little more promptung is needed.
AI remember my fist few months at high school, rushing home to sit with my books, feeling grown up and determined to do well. I di hope this ambition kicks in with her as she matures.
Hints and tips on getting her to do her homework would be appreciated!
“Hi. My name is Hashimoto’s, and I’m an invisible chronic illness.
I am now velcroed to you for life. Others around you can’t see me or hear me,
But YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please.
I can cause severe pain or, if I’m in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.
Remember when you and energy ran around together and had fun?
I took energy from you, and gave you exhaustion. Try to have fun now! I also took good sleep from you and, in its place, gave you brain fog. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal. I can also give you swollen hands and feet, swollen face and eyelids, swollen everything! Oh, yeah, I can make you feel very anxious or very depressed, too.
I can make your hair fall out, become dry and brittle, cause acne, cause dry skin, the sky is the limit with me!
I can make you gain weight and no matter what you eat or how much you exercise, I can keep that weight on you. I can also make you loose weight. I don’t discriminate.
Some of my other autoimmune disease friends often join me, giving you even more to deal with.
If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take
that away from you. You didn’t ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:
That virus or viruses you had that you never really recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma (I thrive on stress.) Maybe you have a family history of me. Whatever the cause, I’m here to stay.
I hear you’re going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. That makes me laugh. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively. You will be put on the wrong thyroid meds for you, pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants.
You may be given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away. You’ll be told to think positively, you’ll be poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken seriously when you try to tell the doctor how debilitating I am and how sick you really feel.
Your family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and just how debilitating I can be. Some of them will say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day” or “Well, remember, you can’t do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago”, not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago. Some will start talking behind your back, they’ll call you a hypochondriac, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a “normal” person, and can’t remember what you were going to say next!
In closing, (I was hoping to keep this part a secret), but I guess you already
found out…the only place you will get the kind of support and understanding in dealing with me, is with other people that have me, they are really the only ones who can understand. My name is Hashimoto’s”
Old letters to lost loved ones
Sorting through old paper work i came across this, its a good few years old but I have realised that although I planned on shedding the pain, it still lingers in the back ground, coming out every now and again to smack me upside the head when I least expect it. One day I know, […]
https://whispersinthenightsky.wordpress.com/2015/09/16/old-letters-to-lost-loved-ones/
decorating
changing your internal surroundings can be as good as having a holiday. I find it changes the whole dynamics of a room giving a renewed sense of…..well…whatever you want it to really. My project at the moment is my bedroom. It was painted a dark jade colour, which I rather liked, it gave a cosy feel to the room, but as I am not sleeping very well i decided a change was needed. I have gone for the popular grey and white, one wall papered in grey, the rest painted. I have just been woken by the neighbours again ( they are not noisey really, the walls are just thin) so I am debating buyong sone insulating wallpaper to put up first. I used this in lityle legs room on the outside walls as her room is rather cold, andcit did make a bit oc a difference
Milo’s review
Milo was given the opportunity to test out and review Bakers dog food, he was sent two large bags of beef and veg dried food and a box of wet. Milo is a dog that prefers wet food so he wasn’t overly impressed with the dried until I added the wet and gave it a good mix. He cleaned his bowl!
He has continued to clear his plate whenever he has had the Baker’s wet food added to the dry.
I did notice he was drinking more water, but the food seems to be suiting him so I will definately keep him on it.
#bakers
The other side
How hard is it when a relationship breaks down, and you hold your phone knowing they are only on the other side of it…..things were easier before technology
heartache
What is this physical pain that comes with a broken heart? You feel it, right there and it twists and turns until the tears flow from your eyes, earth shattering, searing pain, surely a heart can’t survive such an onslaught, this has to be its death, the torture as it rides wave after wave of consuming hot streaks of pain, each one harder ti bear than the last and you pray for the end, yet when its over, there it is, this little jewel, still beating, battered and bruised, torn to shreds, but still…..beating💔💔💔
whispersinthenightsky 
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