that day again
Every year ” that day” comes round again. I know I should be thankful that I am here to see another one, and I am, deep down. I just hate ” that day”. I don’t know why and I can’t remember a time when I did truly enjoy ” that day”.This year I will be 56, the same age my dad died, and it has had a profound effect on me this year, the black cloud began around three days ago and its just got darker and darker as ” that day” approaches. I don’t want to feel like this, I don’t like to feel like this. I am jealous when I see other members of my family really enjoy when ” that day” has arrived for them. I try, I try very hard to smile at the good wishes and gifts, lovely gifts that I treasure, after ” that day” has come and gone.
But right now my heart is heavy, my mood is sombre and quiet and down right miserable. And I hate myself for it
Many happy returns for tomorrow, for those who are also lucky to be seeing ” that day” again.
I will be fine by Saturday 🙂