being alone does it mean I’m lonely?
I married very young, and married twice, had several relationships that lasted a couple of years each then a long term, long distance relationship that spanned 8 years, I’ve been without a man for the last 2 years, am I lonely? Yes II would say I am. I’m happy in my own company and Little Legs keeps me busier than I would really care to be in an ideal world. But………
Sometimes….just sometimes……a longing creeps over me, a need to be wrapped in his arms, to lay my weary head against a strong shoulder and let him take the weight for a while. To love and be loved in return, to have someone to talk to about the major changes in my life, to have someone to take the risk of a wrong or right decision and the knowledge that no matter which way it gies there will be a strong pair of arms to hug you tight.
Being in love with someone you shouldn’t be in love with is so very very difficult, I manage, most days, to bury it under my day to day living, thoughts of him often creep to the front of my mind when I least expect them to, a song, a smell can trigger them off. It doesn’t help that I know he loved me with a passion, and that us not being together wasn’t the path we chose for ourselves. I try, so very hard, to remember what we had with a smile on my face…….but oh, how my heart physically aches to be back there……………….
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